#2806
374 still hasn't come back
Date: 04/27/2003
From: LinkyDragonclaw
And Linky still hasn't escaped.
Rather, instead of building a cell phone or some other device she can use to get away, she has managed to rip apart the inside of 374's cab to build a gameboy.
Linky: Yes! My Treecko evolved!
(She hears honks out the window and is drawn back to reality. She looks outside and sees an irritated Lita pulling Evil Mike across the street. They didn't bother to wait for the walk sign and they're holding up traffic, much like 374's stopped car. EM has a cast on his arm. Linky ducks down, hoping they don't see her. They walk onto the sidewalk a ways away from the cab, but magically Linky can still hear them, even above the city traffic!)
Lita: Some people! That doctor was the most arrogant, sexist oaf in the field, I'm sure! Could you believe that, sweetie?
(Evil Mike has his "Whatever you say" face on and he's obviously not paying attention.)
Lita: I mean first we don't even have headquarters, we're still stuck at wurwolf and Shmoe's without a place to go. Mickey has a psychopathic sexbot and my own clone is cohorting with the enemy! . . . well, not the enemy, but the enemy's annoying brother. Things are a mess. Oh, maybe I need this herbal medicine after all. . .
(Linky pulls out a typewriter upon hearing all this and quickly taps away)
Linky: This just in! Lita and Evil Mike in rehab for drug use! Mickey indulging in promiscuity with machines! Clones switching sides! GROPE not paying rent for headquarters! Man, I've got so much dirt I need to clean my nails! Heeheee. . .
(Linky pokes her head up and watches Lita and Evil Mike walk away. She gets a gleam in her eye.)
Linky: You done good, Linky! Oohohohohohohohoho. . . now, to get out of here!
(She begins to take apart her GBA.)
Meanwhile. . .
(Rimmi, Mickey, and April are sitting in Wurwolf's living room around a coffee table. Rimmi and April are staring at each other as Mickey sweats nervously, April latching onto his arm. Rimmi seems to be mildly amused but April glares at the other woman.)
Rimmi: So. . . what is it you do again, April?
April: I'm a sexbot.
Rimmi: Oh yes. I forgot. Does it pay well?
April: Yes. It pays in the unfaltering love and affection of my boyfriend, Mickey!
(Mickey makes a noise between a laugh and a sob)
Rimmi: Are you on commission?
April: Huh? I don't get it. . .
(Lita42 is in the other room, working away at Sims. She's managed to use cheats to soup up the DeMentia family's house and make it the fanciest place on the planet. However, Tork isn't workin' too well. The family has instead decided to make Tork be their maid, and he's walking around serving drinks and cleaning the house with an apron on. 42 sighs.)
42: Okay. . . maybe I should just work on making one of them like you, and then the rest will warm up.
(She makes Tork approach one of the women in the house and tells him to compliment her. She doesn't look impressed. He flirts with her and she punches him in the gut. 42 reads the name of the girl and winces when she sees "Sunday")
42: Oops. . .
~~
(Back in the cab, Linky flips open her suitcase and pulls Niner out. She looks down and realizes his batteries have run out.)
Linky: Awww. . . spam.
~~
Linky
Queen of Spam
Trainer of Grass and Ground pokemon everywhere!
#2807
<Lita and Evil Mike leave the pharmacy>
Date: 04/28/2003
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
Lita: Ok, Evil Mike! Time to take your herbal supplement.
EM: No.
Lita: You have to! Dr. SkiBum said so!
EM: He said you have to take them too!
Lita: That was just because he's an idiot.
EM: Maybe he was an idiot when he diagnosed me too!
Lita: Just take your pill.
EM: If I have to take these stupid things you have to take them too!
Lita: Oh, fine, you big baby!
<They each take a pill from the bottle and swallow it on the count of three. They stand around for a minute.>
Lita: I don't notice any differen...Woah!
EM: ...Dude!
<They both burst into a huge fit of giggles>
Lita & EM: *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle*
<Time passes. Ten minutes later...>
Lita & EM: *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle* *giggle*
<And so on until finally the initial gigglefit dies down.>
Lita: *sigh* Wow.
EM: We have fun, don't we?
<Lita and Evil Mike gaze into each other's eyes>
Lita: *giggle* Oh, Evil Mike, you're so--MMMmmph!!
<Geez, you two, not in public! Spidey is parked down the street. He ambles up to them and opens a door. Lita pushes Evil Mike into Spidey, and then jumps in after him. She slams the door shut behind them.>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Don't bother asking.
I don't know exactly what the effects of
those herbal supplements are either.
Green Light
#2808
[374] EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Date: 04/29/2003
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Rescue Mode>>>
[374 is screaming because on her way back to her cab she has encountered U2! Or so it would seem...]
[374] Bo-Bo-Bo-Bono!!1!
[Bono(?)] Hello there! I'm rock-n-roll's Bono!
[374] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
[Adam(?)] I take it you're a fan, 3-- I mean, miss?
[374] (Sounds which are largely incoherent, but strongly indicate agreement) Singmeasongpleeeeze1!!!
[Bono(?)] o/` Lemon, see through in the sunlight. She wore lemoooooooooon... but never in the daylight... o/`
[374] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEIlovethissongEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
[Bono(?)] o/` She's gonna make you c-- She's gonna make you c-- She's gonna make y-- o/` [Adam(?) hits Bono(?) on the back of the head.] o/` --mooooooon... o/` [Bono(?) makes a bunch of weird electronic noises.]
[Adam(?)] Damn! Damn damn damn! [He hits Bono(?) some more.]
[374] Adam! Why the @%$#$ are you hitting poor Bono-- wait. You aren't Adam, mother#@#$!!!
[Nabut] No, I'm not. And this isn't Bono.
[374] If that's not Bono, who is it, you #$$#???
[Nabut] A distraction. More specifically, a Bono-bot.
[374] A WHAT?!?!?
[Bono-bot] My-name-is-Hertz-Donut.
[374] What kind of %#%^$ name is that?!?
[Bono-bot] See-this? [It holds up its hand, which is sparking madly.]
[374] Yeah?
[The Bono-bot zaps 374 with its hand, rendering her unconscious.]
[Bono-bot] Hurts,-don't-it?
[PM and Sam run up, with Linky close behind.]
[PM] We've freed her! Let's go!
[Nabut stares incredulously at PM.] Hertz Donut?!?
[PM] What? I thought it was clever.
[Linky] Clever in a LAME sort of way.
[Nabut] For once, I'm inclined to agree with you.
[PM, irritated.] Can we just go, already?
[Linky] You go ahead, guys. I need to say something to Moby first. [Sam and Nabut take the Bono-bot to their helicopter.] Mobius, I have to admit that I owe you one. I was working on getting out, but you came for me and I really appreciate that. [She gives PM a peck on the cheek and a hug. Naturally, Mrs. Mo turns the corner just in time to see this.] You're so good to me. Oh! And to return the favor, wait'll you get a load of what I have for you!
[Mrs. Mo] *ahem* >:o(
[PM] Oh! Hi Nefertiti!
[Mrs. Mo] Don't "Oh, Hi" me. I'm glad to see that disapproving of my boyfriend hasn't stopped you from seducing some poor innocent girl!
[PM] Nefertiti! It's not like that!! Linky's my sidekick!!!
[Mrs. Mo] Sidekick, eh? A likely story. Hah!
[Linky] Now wait a minute. You don't think that... EEEWWW!!!
[Mrs. Mo, oblivious to Linky's protestations.] And what's with the ears? Oh, you poor, poor girl. Here, let me take you home. You don't need to--
[Linky] Hands off, lady! It's bad enough you think I'd... [She shudders.] But then you have to dis the ears?
I *so* don't have to take this. I'm out of here. [She storms off to the helicopter.]
[Mrs. Mo] Poor, deluded thing. Anyway, I just lost whatever respect I might have had for you, Sutenhotep. Goodbye. [She shakes her head as she walks away.]
[PM] Wait, Nefertiti! I swear it isn't... [A look of horror crosses his face.] Wait. What was it Pleh-Naten said... "Ah, but there's more entailed in having her work for you than you even realize..." [He looks toward Mrs. Mo, who casts one last disgusted look over her shoulder. His face falls with realization as he makes his way to the helicopter.]
TmPM
Finally! Took long enough to write this. =/
Sarcophagus!
#2809
~Mickey, April and Rimmi go Mexican~
Date: 04/29/2003
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
Mickey: Rimmi, tell me again why we came here to get burritos? I'm dreadfully confused. <looks around the Mexican resturant, Gigi's. You know the one, the one with the commercial? They sing, 'Come to Gigi's, we're here to please! The best burritos, for less pesos!'>
Rimmi: April wants to make you happy and she knows taking your friends out for tacos, burritos, enchilladas, fajitas and other mexican foods makes you happy.
Mickey: Now where would she get that idea? Do I even need to ask.
Rimmi: I told her that.
Mickey: I know. I was delaying the truth to make myself feel better. Are you going to use her to mooch off me?
Rimmi: Every chance I get. Why are you mad at me? She'll do anything for you and if that's a burden then too bad. I want grub and she's paying.
April: Mickey, what would make your little tummy happy? Nachos?
Mickey: <maybe starting to see how April could be useful but still giving Rimmi the evil eye> Well.... do they have nachos in a soup form. That would make me very happy.
April: Then that is what you will get. <She smiles and heads to the kitchen to make it so.>
<At the other side of the resturant triad of brainy ne'er-do-wells sits at a private booth>
SuperstarSparky: Is Nabut still invisible?
Robo_Pimp_Daddy: No clue. That PM guy might have fixed him. If not then Nabut is pudding and I'm okay with that.
SuperstarSparky: That's horrible!
Robo_Pimp_Daddy: You signed on. See where it took you?
SuperstarSparky: Oh shut up. Sure, I wanted money and chicks and stuff but not at the expence of hurting others. That's wrong.
Robo_Pimp_Daddy: Quit whining. We still have a mission and whining won't make it happen. Now I'm thinking our next target should be Rimmi.
Tuckers_Brother: What are we gonna do to her?
Robo_Pimp_Daddy: Don't know but it's going to be naughty. I need to brainstorm a bit. After some Bahama Mamas I'll let you know.
To be continued....
~A_Judas_Rimmer~
#2810
Wow. Rimmi will never realize how
Date: 04/29/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
much I needed that setup..........
April: Here you go, boyfriend. Nacho soup. (Perfect Smile)
Mickey: Could you stop doing that? That's just creepy.
April: As you wish! (Perfect Non Descript Show of Emotion)
Mickey: Er....yeah....that's less creepy.
Robo Pimp Daddy: (Looking over at Rimmi, Mickey, and April's table): Uhhh....we have to go. Change of plans.
Superstar_Sparky: Awwwww!!!! You promised there'd be ass!
Robo_Pimp_Daddy: We'll rent some Jennifer Lopez movies. Now let's go!
Tucker's_Brother: But that's too much ass!
Superstar_Sparky: Warren's just freaked because his ROBOHO's here.
Robo_Pimp_Daddy: Shutup! And we're in public! Code names!
April: (Sees Warren) Warren?
Robo_Pimp_Daddy: Damn.
Rimmi: He's stalking me? How does that even work? I'm stalking him!
Robo_Pimp_Daddy: April...wow. You haven't....lost power yet. Crap.
April: I've been in the bathroom jacking on.
Mickey: Heh heh....yikes! Well, this is certainly an awkward moment. Why don't I leave you two to catch up?
Rimmi: Nope. (Pushes Mickey down into a chair)
Superstar_Sparky: So *this* is the guy she left you for?
Tuckers_Brother: She must be bugged. No one would leave Warren. *sigh*
(Everyone looks at Tuckers_Brother)
Tuckers_Brother: Er....Warren...Peace. War and Peace. That's such a good book. *sigh*
Robo_Pimp_Daddy: She didn't leave me, okay. Here's what happened....
Superstar_Sparky: Holy cats! A flashback! I hate when he does this!
(Earlier in the rp)
Robo_Pimp_Daddy voiceover: I was programming April to do.....well, that's not important. Anyway, I got an email from the fair Rimmi.
Dear Warren,
I think it would be damn funny if you made April chase after Mickey. Remember, I did try to skin you once so you better do what I say.
Love, Rimmi
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Tuckers_Brother: That's a lot of oxen.
Robo_Pimp_Daddy: Shutup, I'm not finished.
(Back to the flashback)
(Back to the flashback)
....Anyway, I did what she said, and then I hooked up with you losers, errr.....highly intelligent...no, I think you guys are losers. TRe end.
Mickey: Wow.....all this because Rimmi thought it'd be funny?
Rimmi: Not ha ha funny, but it served it's purpose.
Mickey: So, Warren...
Warren: Code names!
Mickey: Right. Rowboat Pink Dummy, I suppose you'd want to take April back.
Robo_Pimp_Daddy: No!!!!
April: Yes!!! Please!!!!!
Robo_Pimp_Daddy: But April, dear....what about Mickey?
April: Who?
Mickey: Well, then it's settled...I hope you and April have lots of....
Tuckers_Brother: I wanna play with the Sexbot (Grabs April's arm)
Superstar_Sparky: No, I want to! (Grabs her other arm) Let her go, penis!
Tuckers_Brother: You're going to tear her in half!
Superstar_Sparky: No you are!
April: Stop! Warren....it's getting dark!
Mickey: Let's leave these four alone.
Rimmi: Good idea.
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
I do not like green eggs and ham.
Green light!
#2811
/a notices the to be continued
Date: 04/29/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Heh heh...well...you can always bring him back! Heh
/a starts wearing a cup
MTG etc
Damn. I liked my reply too.
#2812
The Fish Man vs. Jimmy Mobius! FIGHT!
Date: 04/29/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
(I'm gonna try something new with my posts. From now on narration, and such will be placed in parenthesis, like always. But from now on, I'm going to try and make these posts seem like they're coming from STG's point of view by putting his thoughts into brackets. Here's a quick example, [I'd *kill* for a waffle right now]. If you were to see that appear in the middle of a post, that means STG is thinking it. And that's about it...)
(Oh, and I'm just checking to make sure I'm not messing up continuity, Jimmy and Lita6969 are walking back to Wolf's apartment, and STG's out there preparing for revenge... That sounds about right, now onto the reply...)
Lita6969: Oh, Jimmy, I'm so proud of you!
Jimmy: (Looks a little down) I guess...
Lita6969: You didn't fight, or do anything violent to resolve your differences with your psuedo-evil brother!
Jimmy: Yeah...
Lita6969: What's the matter, Jimmy? You look down?
Jimmy: Dang it, it's just that we Justice Rangers don't go around talking our way out of trouble! We bust evil-doer skulls! I feel like I just let a villian go...
Lita6969: Oh, don't worry. He said he might even be giving up the villian profession!
Jimmy: Maybe, but I would have to pretty naive to go around beliving some pulp-super-villian.
Lita6969: Well, I guess you can fight him if he goes evil again. What do you think-- (Cut off by a screaming pedestrian)
Pedestrian: Run! It's a mad, fish man, super villian! He's terrorizing Main Street!
Jimmy: Egads! Evil is afoot! You better stay here, Lita, it may get a little rough!
Lita6969: Oh no you don't! I'm coming! I wanna see you try to talk to him!
Jimmy: *Sigh* Fine, I'll give it a whirl... Then We'll get to the fighting!
(Jimmy and Lita6969 arrive at Main Street. In the distance you can see the silhoutte of some person standing by a tipped over fruit stand.)
???: GROPE! Where are you! I'm gonna crush you all!
Jimmy: (Runs up to him) Stop right there, ne'er do weller!
(YOu can now see that the person is Servo with that Salmon duct taped to his chest)
STG: Eh? Who're you? (Squints at Jimmy for a moment, and tries to remember.) [Who the hell is that? He looks like that guy with the folded napkin on his head... Um, what's his name? Philly Manmoose? Phanny Manboobs? Pharaoh Mobius? Yeah, that's it! Pharaoh Mobius!] Mobius! I was gonna get to you, and your organization after GROPE, but I guess I'll have to do it now!
Jimmy: (Thinks he's talking about the Justice Rangers) We shall never fall to the likes of you, villian!
STG: Silence! Now, let's do violence on each other! (Lunges at Jimmy, and tries to punch him. However, before he can reach him, Jimmy does a roundhouse kick right to Servo's jaw) GGGRRRAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!1!
Lita6969: Jimmy! No! Talk to him! He's just a jerk! Try and talk him down!
Jimmy: Um, okay... (Turns back to Servo who's on the ground holding his jaw) Well, sorry about that, heh heh, but you know... Well, anyway, I was thinking how about you stop being evil, or something. Cause, um... It's not right, and I'll fight you some-- (STG, from the ground, kicks Jimmy in the knee) Yeeeeoooww!
STG: (Gets back up) Begging for mercy will get you nowhere, Mobius! YAAAH! (Tries to do a jump kick, but Jimmy grabs him by the ankle, and flings him overhead. STG crashes onto the hood of a car.)
Lita6969: Don't give up Jimmy!
Jimmy: (Rubs his knee for a moment) Okay... Where do I start... Okay, Mr. Fish Person, let's start from square one, crime is wrong, and blah blah blah...
STG: (Not paying attention) [Ow... Since when do Egyptian Pharaohs know kung fu? I must resort to the tactic of the wicked GROPE should I hope to defeat him...]
Salmon: You know, Servo, maybe you should try a right hook, then a left, then a right, then, should time permit, another right... (STG peels the salmon off his t-shirt) Wha? What are you doing? I thought we were a team!
STG: Take this, Jimmy, TROUT--
Salmon: Salmon.
STG: Er... SALMON SLAP!
Jimmy: (Still yammering) So, if I were to steal a car, that would be a crime, and thusly bad. So you see-- *SLAP* (Jimmy gets slapped with the salmon, and takes the fall)
STG: Ha, he's down! I have defeated him! Now onto GROPE! Mu hu ha ha-- OW! My sides are so sore... (Grips his ribs, and limps away with the salmon)
Lita6969: Jimmy! (Runs up to him) Are you okay?
Jimmy: (Opens his eyes) Ow, what the hell was that?
Lita6969: He hit you with a fish.
Jimmy: How despicable! Such low tactics! I must catch him before he harms others!
Lita6969: Oh no you don't! No more fighting. I don't want you getting hurt.
Jimmy: But--
Lita6969: No 'buts'!
Jimmy: *sigh* (Looks down)
Lita6969: Now let's go home.
Jimmy: Yes'm...
ServoTheGreat
Why is STG trying to destroy GROPE? Well, based on his logic, he'll probably blame everything bad that's happened to him on the fact that they wouldn't let him in. And he hated PM cause PM won't let him into his bar, cause he won't pay his tab, or something... Look, just use your imagination if you have to...
Anyway... GREEEEEN LIGHT!
#2813
It's cool, Mickey. No need for a cup.
Date: 04/29/2003
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
I loved your post and I hate you very much for being funnier than I am. Hmmmph! :-P
I see there's a "Red Light," "Green Light" system here now and I feel I need it explained to me so I can use it. I just want to be clear about it but I think I know what you mean.
#2814
Litas 2112 and 8714 are taking a stroll
Date: 04/30/2003
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
8714: Are you enjoying your vacation?
2112: Sure. Just because I'm a ninja doesn't mean I have to be kicking ass all the time! It's nice to have a break. You?
8714: Well, I like carpentry. But Lita hasn't needed much lately. *shrug* I'm doing fine.
2112: *gasp* 8714! Look over there! *poin*
8714: Ohmygoodness!
<The two Litas run to where Lita374 is lying on the sidewalk>
8714: 374! Are you ok? Did you have too much to drink??
2112: She's unconscious!
374: Uhhhhhnn...
<Lita2112 and Lita8714 crouch by Lita374 and help her sit up>
2112: Are you all right? What happened to you?
374: <a bit dazed> Wha happa? <She shakes her head and blinks a few times> Anybody get the number on that Bonobot?
8714: She's delerious.
374: <waking up more now> Wait... no... I'm not... I was attacked by a robot mascarading as Bono.
8714: <purses her lips> A robot, huh?
374: Yeah... he was with some big bald mofo doing a &$%@ing awful impression of Adam Clayton... you guys think I'm a &@$%ing lunatic, don't you?
8714: No. Actually, now this is making a whole lot of sense.
2112: Pharaoh Mobius sent Nabut and some robot after you.
374: That @%#hole!
8714: But why would he attack you?
2112: He probably thought he could hurt Lita by attacking her clones!
8714: *gasp*
374: *sniff* All I was doing was trying to help Lita like any loyal Lita clone would.
8714: <pats 374 sympathetically on the shoulder> We know, honey.
2112: And believe me, he's not getting away with this! Both he and his stupid henchman are going to get a big taste of my Barking Duck fighting technique!
8714: But not right now though.
2112: No, of course not.
374: Why not? Is it because I'm too weak from the attack?
8714: Let's say that's it.
374: Ok. What's the real reason?
2112: PM looks like he's trying to work on a story arc of his own and it would be rude of us to barge in on it and screw it up.
374: Even to beat the &%@# out of him?
8714: Right. Besides, it's too confusing to have too much going on at once.
2112: We'll get PM and Nabut as soon as they make some room in their busy schedules for us.
374: Um, ok.
8714: Then we'll go in and inflict our violence RIGHT WHEN HE LEAST EXPECTS IT!!1!
374: Oh! Ok!
<Litas 8714 and 2112 help 374 up off the sidewalk, then they head to MSTBlanca. But they don't enter MSTBlanca yet. Instead they wait around for PM to get a green light... and then the carnage will begin!!>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Too many numbers in this reply!
For the aforementioned reasons
this reply has a red light
#2815
About Red Light/Green Light
Date: 04/30/2003
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
Yeah... Never did explain that at the actual rp post, huh? I brought it up to everybody elsewhere and forgot to even put an explanitory reply here. Here's the original reply where I explained the whole idea. I sure hope this sh** helps.
*****************************************
Anyway, I had an idea. Ok, actually, it was Tork's idea, but I'm stealing the idea and taking credit for it. It has to do with the rp.
I think this has happened to all of us. You know how occasionally in the rp you'll be planning to do something cool and you'll write a reply introducing the cool plot twist or whatever that you're planning to do and then some well meaning person comes in with a reply of their own which, while it may be neat, still messes up whatever it was you were planning to do? Don't you hate that?
Well, Tork suggested-- er... I mean... I'm suggesting that maybe we could add like a little thing at the bottom of our taglines when we write replies for our plotlines. I don't know what, but maybe like with my 2780 Is Lost plotline for example. I don't have any immediate plans for that, so it would be ok for somebody to contribute. I might put
2780 is Lost: Open
at the bottom of my reply. But if I did have plans, say if in my very next reply I had planned to have 2780, oh I don't know, be trampled by a rabid horse or something, I might put
2780 is Lost: Closed
at the bottom. (Don't cry, Tork. That's not going to happen to 2780) And then you would know that I might get pissed if you add to that reply right then.
On the other hand, if I plan to do something eventually but don't mind if you post something right now, as long as you don't do anything drastic that would significantly advance the plot or anything, or maybe just ask me how I feel about it first, I might put... um... Door ajar? That sounds lame...
Ok! Let's do red light/green light instead! Red Light means "I'm planning something, stay away," Green Light means "Go ahead and post," and Yellow Light would mean "Proceed with caution."
So how does that sound to you? The only problem I can think of off-hand is that part of the fun of rps is when you have a thing going, but then somebody contributes something totally out there and you're like, "Wow! I never would have thought of that.... but it's cool!" The system might prevent that from happening, which would be sad. All I could say to fix that would be to advise that we use our Red Lights sparingly. But maybe it would be eliminate the frustration of seeing a plotline you had planned not work out. Maybe. Or not, I don't know.
So... what do you think of Tork's--er I mean My plan that I came up with all by myself? (Unless you hate the plan, then it's Tork's plan)
************************************************
As you can tell from the fact that people are using the red light/green light thing, the idea was accepted. So far it seems to be working all right.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
#2816
D'oh! Correction to my last post...
Date: 04/30/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
This line, "STG: Take this, Jimmy, TROUT--", should have been, "STG: Take this, Mobius, TROUT--" Cause, he doesn't know that this mobius isn't PM. I don't think STG has ever met Jimmy before, or if so, to briefly to remember.
And now this...
(A rabid monkey does the hampster dance across your computer screen)
There, something worth looking at at this post.
ServoTheGreat
#2817
Alternate RP: ATTEN ALL but mostly Linky
Date: 04/30/2003
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
Linky, I have not met you yet and I'd like to formally meet you since no one gave us a proper introduction (glances at PM and sticks her tongue out at him). I'd love to invite you to a tea party that will go on during the regular rpg but isn't exactly a part of it so as to not mess anything up. I see Cave Rimmer has just set out the darjeeling, Sunday is stirring some honey into her chamomile, SuperstarSparky and Tuckers_Brother are playing Captain Picard and pretending to order "Earl Grey, hot" while Robo_Pimp_Daddy is aiming a scone at Dawn's head.
All are welcome to join in as we discuss Linky, her life, loves and how she will plan to bask in my glory. I encourage you all to be nice, have a good time and if anyone is scalded by hot tea, do not come crying to me because I don't care.
#2818
*knock* *knock*
Date: 04/30/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
Rimmer: *Gasp* Another guest has arrived!
(Rimmer runs up to the front door, and opens it. Her face filled with joy and glee, quickly changes to disdain as she sees it's ServoTheGreat at the door)
Rimmer: Oh... Hello, Servo...
STG: Hey, how ya doin'? I don't usually come to tea parties, cause I don't like tea, but I brought this bottle of Surge to make up for it. (Hands it Rimmer)
Rimmer: (looks at the bottle, then back at Servo. Trying to sound grateful) Oh... Surge... You shouldn't have... (Mutters) Really...
STG: Yeah, I know, I'm great. Now, if you could please get out of the way, and let me in.
Rimmer: Oh, about that... There's no tea party, um, everyone couldn't make it, cause, um, they're dead...
STG: Huh?
Rimmer: Yeah, so if you could just leave...
STG: Oh, uh, okay. It would be kinda akward if I stayed. (Turns, and begins walking away. At that moment though Lita and Evil Mike are walking across the lawn to Rimmer's, and bump into Servo)
STG: Sorry folks, no tea party. Everyone's dead.
(Lita and EM look at each other confused, then they notice Rimmer at the window signalling them to go around the back)
Lita: Oh, okay Servo. We'll see you later--
EM: (Mutters) In hell...
Lita: (Kicks his ankle) We just have to go around back, and water Rimmer's plants... Or something...
(After Lita and Em are around the house, and out of earshot of Servo)
Lita: Okay, let's get inside for that tea party.
EM: Tea party? I just thought we had to water the plants and leave!
Lita: That was a lie to get rid of Servo, now let's go in.
EM: But I don't wanna! They're so, so... unmanly. (EM turns around to walk away, but Lita grabs him by the ear and drags him in) Ow, ow, ow...
ServoTheGreat
Damn, she kept my Surge!
#2819
<The three Litas are hiding>
Date: 05/01/2003
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
<As they watch PM, Nabut, Sam, and Linky approach MSTBlanca. No, I don't know how the Litas got there first if PM and his group had a head start. Maybe they took 374's cab. But anyway...>
2112: Ok! There they are! Time to kick some ass!
374: I thought we were going to wait a while... for me to recuperate.
8714: Yeah, well, you recovered really fast. <Translation: Lita got the go-ahead from PM to write this reply>
374: Ok... So let's go.
<Litas 2112, 374, and 8714 all march out to confront PM and his cohorts. The three stand in the way, arms crossed in a threatening manner.>
PM: <immediately seeing that he could be in trouble --he's observant that way-- PM feigns nonchalance.> Oh... Hello, ladies! How are you today?
2112: <nods at Nabut> Is that the one, 374?
374: Yeah. That's him.
8714: Just like we thought.
<Nabut looks behind him as if he's completely unaware of what the Litas are talking about and thinks maybe they're referring to somebody else. This move completely fails to convince anybody of his innocence.>
PM: <giving up on the nonchalant act> Ok... what is this about?
374: Like you have to ask!
8714: You sent that bonehead <she poins at Nabut> to send a robot to attack poor 374! And then you left her for dead on the street!
PM: I most certainly did not leave her for dead! She was just unconscious!
<The Litas are not at all impressed.>
PM: Look, I don't know if Lita374 told you this, but she kidnapped my sidekick! It was completely within my rights to rescue her!
<Litas 2112 and 8714 look at 374>
374: Ok. It's true. I did kidnap her. But I didn't hurt her! Look at her! She's fine!
Linky: That's true. I'm not hurt. Just a little itchy.
Nabut: You must have been hanging around Buffalo.
8714: Besides. Of course 374 kidnapped Linky. She always kidnaps people. That's what she does. That's her defining personality trait.
374: Yeah. The only way a Lita clone can get into this rp is to have some weird personality trait that the other Litas lack. I mean, have any of you heard from Lita4003 lately?
<PM and his henchpeople look blank>
2112: Of course you haven't. She's boring.
374: Dull as f***ing dishwater.
2112: She's nice and everything.
374: Oh, of course she is!
2112: But being nice doesn't make you interesting.
374: And it doesn't get you your own storylines either.
2112: No.
8714: Girls, I think we're getting off on a tangent here...
2112: Oh, right. Back to the poin--
PM: Which is what exactly? That you're going to attack us? I'm sure that's why Lita2112 is here. Why are you other two here? Are you the cheerleaders? <He's being all cocky now. His downfall can't be far away.>
8714: I'm very helpful to the team. Check this out.
<She picks up a baseball bat that she fashioned sometime between her last reply and this one. She hands it to 2112>
374: And I'm here to supply the profanity, motherf***ers.
<PM and his posse have gone a bit pale now>
2112: Say, Mobius. I was wondering if you're at all acquainted with the Funky Monkey attack style.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
I'm not sure what color the light is on this one. I think it depends on what color PM's light is, since it's his plot line I'm stepping in. So ask PM.
#2820
Mickey: Oooooh, Surge!!!!
Date: 05/02/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Rimmi: Don't! It's the last bottle in exis...(Mickey grabs the bottle and downs it in one gulp.....tence.
(Mickey starts running around the room acting like a chimpanzee)
Lita: You know what's sad? That might not be the caffiene.
Rimmi: Uh huh.
MTG etc
WOOwooWOOwoo!!!!!!
#2821
[Rick] Gee boss. What happened to you?
Date: 05/03/2003
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Beaten Up Mode>>>
[PM] I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say that Lita 2112 did some kind of flaky poodle thing at me and it hurt. A lot.
[Linky] I thought she called it a Funky Monkey attack?
[Nabut] Thanks. Because that makes it hurt a lot less. Ow.
[Rick] What are you complaining about, Nabut? The boss is bruised all to hell, but you look just fine.
[Nabut] If my skin were visible, I'm sure it would look just as bad.
[PM] Yeah. Don't forget, the only reason we can see Nabut is because he's wearing stage makeup. [He scratches his arms.]
[Rick] You too, boss? [He scratches his shoulder.] And now *I'm* doing it again now. I had stopped itching when you all left, but it's started again.
[Linky] I didn't start itching until I got into the helicopter.
[PM] I think I've determined that the itching is being caused by whatever made Nabut invisible.
[Nabut] Why do you say that, my peachpit? [He stops himself short of spitting on PM's hat.]
[PM] Well, the itching started after you were turned invisible, and people only itch when you're around. It's not exactly rocket science to put that one together. =/
[Nabut grimaces.] Point taken.
[Linky] So once we figure out how to make Nabut visible again, what kind of adventure will we have? Huh, huh, huh???
[PM] *We* aren't doing anything of the sort. I've realized that I need to be more responsible in regard to you.
[Linky] You what now?
[PM] I have to start treating you more like a legal guardian. You know, so that people won't get any wrong ideas.
[Linky] I don't think I like the sound of this...
[PM] Don't worry. I'm not going to go authoritarian on you or anything. But I will have to establish some rules and such. And see to your education.
[Linky] My what?!? You're not sending me to school, are you?
[PM] Nah. I'm going to home school you, because the bar moves around too much to enroll you in any one school district.
[Linky] HOME SCHOOL?!? I'll be a pariah!!!
[PM] No buts about it! In fact, I have your first assignments all set up on the desk in your room. Once you get through Math, History, and Literature, you can work on Advanced ElectroMechanics.
[Linky] But I was gonna make plans to go out with my friends!
[PM] Nuh uh, missy! Not until you get your assignments done!
[Linky glares at PM.] ... I hate you.
TmPM
Noisy, crazy, sloppy lazy loafers...
And while we're on the subject,
KIDS!
Red Light
#2822
(Mickey and Rimmi are walking home
Date: 05/04/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Which of course, happens to be wurwolf and Schmoe's home, but that's not important)
Mugger: Give me your money!
Mickey: Ah, New York!
Rimmi: Mickey, he has a gun.
Mickey: And I have a rabid sexbot. Now where did I put that thing....
Rimmi: Mickey, you don't have her anymore.
Mickey: Oh yeah. Crap.
Mugger: Look, I'm on a tight schedule. So if you could just give me your money...
Mickey: No, I'm not going to do that.
Mugger: Oh, why not?! You're no fun!
Mickey: I'm sorry, but it's my money! All.....27 cents of it!
Rimmi: Oh Mickey.....
Mickey: Well, April *was* going to pick up the tab.
Rimmi: No she wasn't.
Mickey: OK, fine. She was going to show the owner her wiring and we were going to sneak out.
Mugger: Oh great. See what you made me do? Now I'm going to have to take your woman. I hope you understand.
Mickey: Of course! Here you go!
Rimmi: Hey!!! I'm your woman...protect me and stuff!
Mickey: I can't protect you!
Rimmi: And I'm not your woman...you don't see me bitching about it.
Mickey: Where's your sword?
Rimmi: We were sitting in the No Sword section of the restaraunt. They were the only seats left!
Mickey: So, you checked your sword at the door? Uh oh....
(Back at the restaraunt)
Coat Check Girl (Checks Rimmi's sword): Hey, neat!!!
Mickey T Gardener
BBoard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
Dewey Defeats Truman!!!
Green Light
#2823
<Lita and Evil Mike are giggling again>
Date: 05/04/2003
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
<They've been doing a lot of that lately>
EM: Tee hee! So now what do you want to do?
Lita: *giggle* I don't know. Something fun.
<Lita and Evil Mike see STG walking down the street.>
EM: Oh, I know what let's do!
<Lita and Evil Mike get out of Spidey and run over to STG>
EM: Hey, Fish Boy! We wanna talk to you!
STG: I'm not Fish Boy! I'm... er... Salmon Man! That's who I am!
Lita: Yeah, anyway, shut up. We wanna talk to you.
STG: Why are you two giggling so much? What's so funny? You're not laughing at me, are you?
<Lita and Evil Mike burst into a fit of laughter>
STG: Hmph! How rude! I'm leaving.
Lita: What's the deal with the flounder on your chest?
STG: He's a salmon! And he's my friend! Say hi to them, Salmon.
Salmon: ...
EM: He's a dead fish!
STG: He is not!
Lita: Tee-hee! He's starting to smell! You smell like fish!
STG: Shut up! My salmon is here to help me get revenge on you and your stupid GROPE for being such a bunch of jerks!
Lita: That's no fun.
STG: It's fun for me.
EM: Who cares about you?
STG: Hey!
EM: Hee hee! Hey, you know what would be *really* fun?
Lita: *giggle* What?
EM: If Fish Boy here--
STG: Salmon Man!
EM: --went to the Stop-N-Rob over there and got us some booze!
Lita: Oooo! Yeah!
STG: I can't do that! I'm underage!
Lita: That's true. He's only like 12 years old.
STG: I'm older than that!
EM: Then there's no problem, Kiddo!
STG: Yes there is, get your own booze! You guys are old enough!
Lita: <giving STG a sour look> Well you're no fun.
EM: I guess he doesn't like having friends.
STG: I do too!
Lita: Then what's your deal? Get us some booze!
STG: Ugh... fine...
<STG trundles off across the street to the mini-mart. While he's inside...>
STG: Dude! Salmon! You totally left me hanging out there! Why didn't you say anything? Now they think I'm stupid!
Salmon: They already thought you were stupid. And I don't want to get dissected by scientists for being a magical talking fish. Look, I'm kind of thirsty. I'm a fish you know,
STG: Want me to run the drinking fountain over your head?
Salmon: Sure... But you know what would really hit the spot is some of that Old Kentucky Shark over on the shelf there...
STG: I guess that's what Lita and Evil Mike like too huh?
Salmon: How the hell should I know? Booze me!
<STG looks around, and then opens a bottle of OKC and pours it over the fish's head and down the front of his own shirt.>
Salmon: Ahhhh... That's the stuff.
STG: And I guess I'll get a few more bottles for Lita and Evil Mike...
<He tucks them under his shirt and then heads for the door.>
Clerk: Stop! Thief!
STG: Ack! <In his surprise he drops the bottles of booze and they shatter on the floor.> Oh crap! <He runs outside> Hey, where are Lita and Evil Mike?? They left me hanging, those jerks!!!
***
<See, what happened while STG was in the store was this...>
Lita: *giggle* I can't wait till STG comes back with that booze!
EM: I'm gonna take another of Dr. SkiBum's herbal supplements, you want one?
Lita: Yeah!
<They each take one, and another giggling fit ensues, followed quickly by another fit of passion. They've run off to get some alone time when STG comes out the door looking for them.>
Clerk: Stop! Thief!
STG: Those jerks!
Salmon: Yeah, you said that already.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
can't spell supplements
Yellow light
Hey, STG, I know you were on your revenge thing and everything. Do you mind this interruption? If you don't want Lita and Evil Mike to continue using STG as their patsy, let me know and he can run along on his merry way. Otherwise I can use him at least a little bit to help further my current plotline. He can go right back to Revenge Mode when it's done, and he'll even have a really good reason to want revenge. How's it sound to you? :o)
#2824
Wow, Mickey!
Date: 05/04/2003
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
Simultaneous posting action!
Neat!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
#2825
Simaltanious, eh?
Date: 05/04/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Heh.....(Gets a faraway look in his eye)
(Evil Mike smacks Mickey)
EM: It's not what you think, dumbass.
Mickey: Oh.
MTG etc
#2826
<throws Campbell Chunky soup at Mickey>
Date: 05/04/2003
From: Tork_110
It's recommended by some athlete's mom!
#2827
Hey, Lita! Hey, Mickey! Read this!
Date: 05/04/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
Or you'll turn into toads.
Lita, do whatever you want. I don't mind. I wasn't planning on doing anything big with the revenge story... Besides destroying Wurwolf's apartment... Heh heh...
Hey, Mickey, that was my Surge! Give it back!
ServoTheGreat
That was *my* Surge!
#2828
And now...
Date: 05/04/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
SURGE!!!!! nmt
#2829
STG tapes a bunch of hoses together, and
Date: 05/04/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
spots the TftDers standing around talking.
STG: (Yelling, while holding the mega-hose in one a hand, and a bottle of Surge in the other) SURGE!
Mickey: The hell?
(STG turns on all the hoses, and blasts all of them)
STG: SURGE! SURGE! SURGE! SURGE!
Lita: Aaaa, my hair!
Tork: My make-up is running off!
(Everyone stops screaming, and looks at Tork for a rather akward moment)
Tork: Heh heh, Kidding...
STG: SURGE!
Linky: SHUT UP! (Picks up a trash can lid to deflect the water blast) Come on! (Everyone grabs a lid, and charges Servo)
STG: SUUUUUUURGE! [Whee, this is fun. Now let's see who gets here first to get the Surge...]
(They all reach STG, but rather than the winner claiming the soft drink, they all beat Servo with the trash can lids)
STG: Ow, OW! Not the face! Not my beautiful face!
EM: Ah, so you're lying too!
(After STG has been thoroughly beaten, they all turn and walk away. Except for Mickey who grabs the bottle of Surge and starts drinking)
Mickey: (Talking to the comatose Servo) That was fun. We should do that again sometime.
ServoTheGreat
He took *my* Surge again! Damn Mickey!
#2830
Stuff n' Stuff
Date: 05/05/2003
From: LinkyDragonclaw
OOC: Hey, Rimmi. Sorry I couldn't reply for a while, my computer got blasted to smithereens by subterranean space monkeys and I've had to resort to mooching off my parents. As for me, I'm 16-years-old and live in Canada. I work at a video game store and I met PM over the RPGworld forums and he got me into this. It's nice to meet you!
Back to the RP. . .
(Linky's storming around in her bedroom, which is actually just a small room in the MSTBlanca attic)
Linky: Stupid Pharaoh!!! . . . . stupid!
(she looks around for something to hurt, and finding nothing, just repeats stupid over and over again. Finally, she pulls out Niner and plugs him into the wall.)
Linky: Sorry about that, kid. I didn't really have time to charge you up.
Niner: That's fine, Linky. How may I be of service?
Linky: Hmmm. . . (she looks around, seeing a bunch of textbooks and notebooks. She grabs them and brings them over to Niner) Do my homework.
Niner: *sigh* Yes, Linky. (He looks over the books) I thought Math was one of your favourite subjects?
Linky: Well sure, but it's the principal of it all, dammit! I'm his sidekick! His partner-in-crime! And the crud I have to put up with. . . and what does he make me do?! Sit up here doing homework while he goes out having fun! Speaking of which. . .
(Meanwhile, back at the ranch. . . PM, Rick, and Sam are at their local library, which was really just around the corner and quite convenient for the purposes of this reply.)
Rick: Uhh, boss, is this really necessary?
PM: What do you mean?
Rick: I mean. . . we're villains, aren't we? This isn't really suiting our idiom.
PM: We're looking for a cure to Nabut's condition. How doesn't that suit?
Rick: Usually we'd just go out and threaten everyone for the answers. Researching in a library is just a bit out of character.
PM: No, it isn't. I've taken on the role of being a guardian for Linky, I need to be a positive role-model. This means putting hard work and honest effort into getting what we want.
Sam: Groovy. I think I might've found something, big daddy.
(Rick and PM both turn to Sam, who's leafing through a ridiculously large volume of stuff. Yes, stuff.)
PM: Let me see that. . .
(He takes the book and reads)
PM: It says that all we need. . . is the blood of a Slayer!
(Dramatic music plays and Rick and Sam both gasp.)
PM: Okay, okay, sorry, I couldn't resist. Sam. . . these are instructions on how to get ketchup stains out of polyester.
Sam: Yeah, I know. I've had those stains in my favourite dancing pants for months. It's totally unmellow.
PM: *sigh* Let's keep looking. . .
~~
(Lita and Evil Mike are hanging around outside a grocery shop, giggling furiously. STG stumbles out, looking frightened as a guy with a shotgun chases him out of the shop.)
Guy With a Shotgun: And never come back!
STG: *whimper* All right, all right!
(He comes around the corner, looking hurt.)
STG: I brought you what you wanted. . .
Lita: Yes! Skittles!
EM: Booze!
Lita: *giggle* Silly, you got booze at the Liquor store!
EM: Yeah, and now I'm getting some from the grocery store! What's your point?
(They both start cracking up and STG looks around for his chance to escape.)
STG: Oh, Salmon, grant me the courage. . .
Lita: Fish boy is talking to the smelly fish again.
EM: I don't care, just give me some skittles.
(STG looks desperate, drops the bag, turns and leaps at the back of a passing truck. He misses, landing in the middle of the road, and he quickly gets up, dusts himself off, and runs.)
Lita: *giggles* That was funny!
EM: Yeah. . . hey, gimme some more herbal supplements. . .
Lita: Okay. (she fishes around in her bag) Uh oh. . . Sweetie, I think I've ran out.
EM: What?! Well we have to go get some more!
Lita: Okay. . . (she flips over the bottle of pills in her hand) Guess we have to find a pharmacy!
~~
(Rimmi and Mickey are cornered by the thug, and both are looking very dramatic and very determined, like characters who are faced with a conflict in a show that has just come back from a commercial break.)
Mickey: *looking dramatic and determined*
Rimmi: *looking dramatic and determined*
(Suddenly, STG comes out of nowhere, running madly and screaming. He runs into the mugger, knocking both himself and the mugger unconscious.)
Rimmi: Well. That was easy.
~~
(Carmelita42 is sitting at a computer screen, piles of popcans littered around her.)
Lita42: Darn it, Tork! Get these people to like you!!
-Linky Dragonclaw
Feelin' peckish and my computer is still not working!
Green light
#2831
Tork: Coma snada!!
Date: 05/06/2003
From: Tork_110
Tork: <more Sims gibberish>
Lita42: At least he got away from the family for a second. ....Tee hee! He looks so cute waving his arms back and forth.
<Meanwhile, in the Sims game itself.>
Tork: I SAID, 'PUSH ALT + CTRL + F5, AND THEN ENTER "DAWNSUCKS" AS THE PASSWORD....NO!!! DON'T ADD ANOTHER COUCH!!! WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING!!!??!??!?
#2832
Sim Rimmer: Tork! Hey Tork!
Date: 05/07/2003
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
Tork: Wha....? Rimmi! You're a sim here too? <A slim Rimmi Sim swims to him and get out of the pool.>
Sim Rimmer: I made a Sim out of myself. I thought it would be fun but then it turned out creepy. Apperently my sim, well me, apperently I have looser morals than the real Rimmer so she stopped playing with me.
Tork: Loose morals? You? A copy of Rimmer? How could that be? She's the epitome of prudence and modesty? <sarcasm mode>
Sim Rimmi: So I flirt with every guy here? So what? I don't see why it's such a big issue? Maybe Rimmer was seeing me get more action than she ever could and she was jealous. I can't help it if I look spectacular in this little purple bikini.
Tork: But why the DeMentia house? They are cruel and insane here.
Sim Rimmi: True but there's something about that Raphael DeMentia. He's so super cute it's hard to keep my hands off his tush. <sighs> Besides, Rimmer created me to be like her and he's the most psychotic nerd in this place so naturally I'm quite taken with his geeky insanity.
Tork: Yeah, that sounds like Rimmi. Say, you don't happen to know a way out of here, do you?
Sim Rimmer: <smiles seductively> Yeah. What's it worth to you, handsome?
#2833
Must... stay... up.....
Date: 05/09/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Busiest...weekend...of year. Must...get...as much...sleep as possible...on Friday...night...and not speak....in normal....sentences.
Rimmi: (Looking at STG) Well that was convenient.
Mickey: Yes...a little *too* convenient!
Rimmi: Oh shutup.
Mickey: Yes'm....(Sees a giant tent city on the sidewalk next to Schmoe and wurwolf's apartment) What's up with this?
42: She kicked us out!
Pooduck: Barquack!
42: (Hugs Pooduck) *sniff* He's so brave!
Abe: I don't understand. Things were going so well...(Everyone stares at Abe) Well, I thought so...
Mickey: It's ok. Everything's going to be ok....where's Lita?
Abe: Haven't seen her since you're sexbot threw her boyfriend through the window.
Mickey: Oh yeah....heh heh. *Ahem* OK.....I got nothing. Rimmi?
Rimmi: Uh...well....This...this is what happens when a nice lady takes you into your home and you take advantage of her hospitality!
Mickey: YEAH! Huh? Help me out here, Rimmi....I'm kind of trying to paint her out as a bitch.
Rimmi: No, I stand by what I said.
Mickey: But Pooduck!
Landlord: What in the holy name of Steinbrenner's goin on around heres?
Rimmi: Uh...heh heh....I....yield the floor to Mickey! (Pushes Mickey in front of the landlord)
Mickey: Eep! (Turns to Rimmi and whispers) This guy has the worst breath!
Landlord: I's waiting!
Mickey: They're....they're protesting the war!
Landlord: Here?
Mickey: Er...yeah! Didn't you know that Saddam himself lives here?
Landlord: Yeah, I think you're full of shi...(A man with a moustache walks out of the apartment building walking his dog)
42: There he is! Get him! (Everyone who's been kicked out of the apartment goes after this man who doesn't even look like Saddam. Pooduck beats up his chihuaua)
Landlord: That's Gary! He's lived here since '97!
Rimmi: A likely story!
Mickey: So why don't you march back into your room and forget about these tents, and we maybe won't report you to the FBI for harboring this madman!
Landlord: OK, I'm goin! (Leaves)
Mickey: Phew!
Gary: Hmph! You people are sick!
(Back in Schmoe and wurwolf's apartment)
wurwolf: Honey? What's wrong with the compooter?
Schmoe: Don't know. Why?
wurwolf: Why does this little guy on here look like Tork and WHAT IS HE DOING????
Mickey T. Gardener
BBoard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
But Pooduck!
Green Light
#2834
GIANT CHIMPS DISCOVERED!
Date: 05/09/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
Really doesn't need a follow up story, does it? :o)
MTG etc
#2835
[Manosgirl] So, what's wrong, PM?
Date: 05/10/2003
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Conciliation Mode>>>
[PM] Well, it's just that there's a lot going on right now. Nabut's invisible for some reason, and we haven't been able to find a cure yet. The public library was a total bust.
[Mansogirl] Why were you looking for a cure for invisibility at the library?
[PM] Because I'm trying to set a good example for Linky. Since she's more or less in my care now, I have to be conscious of how things appear.
[Manosgirl] "How things appear," eh? Have people been giving you a hard time about suddenly having a teenaged girl under your roof?
[PM looks down.] Yes. That's why I have to make it plain to everyone that my relationship with her is purely professional. And maybe a little paternal. But definitely not...
[Manosgirl] Yeah. But I'd be careful if I were you. Don't treat her too much like a kid, or you might have other troubles on your hands. Trust me on this one.
[PM] Yeah, I guess you're right. *sigh* If only Nefertiti and I had been able to work things out...
[Manosgirl] Don't tell me--!
[PM] Yes. She and I are going through with the divorce.
[Manosgirl] Oh, PM! Did you try counseling, like I suggested?
[PM] We did. It didn't really go all that well...
[PM flashes back to a scene where he's sitting in a counselor's office with Mrs. Mo. The counselor is explaining a counseling exercise to them, but PM seems to be preoccupied with other things.]
[Counselor] ...so under this model, people's personalities can be summed up by analogy of animals. Lions are headstrong, in-charge types. Otters are fun-loving types. Golden retrievers are loyal people-pleasers. And Beavers are industrious, creative people. A person's personality can be summed up by a combination of two of these animals. Do you understand?
[Mrs. Mo] Yes, perfectly.
[PM, to himself.] ...step up the gun-running in Central Amer-- [He looks up.] Huh? Oh, yeah. Gotcha.
[Counselor] Good. Now Nefertiti, I'd say after talking to you that you are a Lion-Beaver. What do you think, Sutenhotep?
[PM stares for a moment.] Wow. I'm glad *you're* the one saying it, if you know what I mean.
[Mrs. Mo glares furiously at PM.]
[Back in the present...]
[PM] So... yeah. We didn't go back there after that.
[Manosgirl] Oh, PM. [She shakes her head.]
[Meanwhile, Sam walks past, toward the door. As he opens it, he sees an attractive woman who was getting ready to knock on the door.]
[Woman, with a start.] Oh! I'm sorry! I had come here hoping to find... [She peers at Sam intently.] Sam? Is that you? You haven't changed a bit!
[Sam looks blankly at the woman for a moment, before recognition sets in.] Abby?!?
TmPM
Yes, I'm going somewhere with all this.
Sarcophagus!
Red Light
#2836
(wurwolf's watching the Today Show)
Date: 05/11/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
wurwolf: Oh Matt, you're all man...(Schmoe walks in, wurwolf quickly turns off the tv) Hi hon!
Schmoe: Stop being turned on by the Today Show, you! It's creepy!
wurwolf: Did you fix the compooter yet?
Schmoe: I sure did! I turned it off!
(Tork walks in, and he's nekkid)
Tork: Man, I haven't showered in days.....
Schmoe: Ack! I thought you kicked them out!
wurwolf: Torrrk! Get out of here! You're not welcome here!
Tork: What about my clothes?
wurwolf: I'll mail them to you! Now...I'm watching the Today Show. Get out!
Schmoe: Ugh...here we go. I'll be at the comic shop.
(Everyone leaves and wurwolf puts the Today Show back on)
wurwolf: Ack! Al Roker!
(On the tv)
Al Roker: ....here on a beautiful New York morning, and look at the crowd that's gathered to see Today's Air Supply concert. And I'm going to talk to someone in the crowd right now...A man...with a...fish strapped to his chest?
STG; Hello Al....
(Meanwhile.....)
Tork: Anyone got a towel?
Mickey: Yikes!
Rimmi: Got out of the game, I see.
Tork: Game?
Mickey: I'm looking at apartments. There's a nice cardboard box down the block....but the lead singer from Air Supply's living there.
Rimmi: Damn immigrants.
Abe: But it's only a three room! What about us?
Mickey: It's New York City! There's plenty of cardboard boxes for all of us!
Manute: But Manute think we stick together.
Mickey: Um...yeah....I'll get back to you on that one.
Mickey T. Gardener
BBoard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
Al Roker...the other jolly fat man
Red Light
#2837
Lita: We sure need a refill right now!
Date: 05/14/2003
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
EM: I know! I know!
<Fortunately, by now they've managed to get to a supermarket with a pharmacy. They both run inside and up to the counter, behind which is standing a young, bored looking man in an ill-fitting pharmacist smock.>
Pharmacy Dude: Hello, may I help you?
Lita: <bouncing a slightly> Are you the pharmacist? You look too young to be a pharmacist. We need to talk to a pharmacist.
Pharmacy Dude: Um, the pharmacist is out on his lunch break. But I can help you. Can I help you?
EM: We need more herbal supplements. We need them now. Our old ones ran out. Here's the old bottle. Now give us more.
Pharmacy Dude: Well, if you're like scared you're gonna run out, this should do it. <He puts a big huge jar on the counter. It's filled with the herbal supplements. Lita and Evil Mike don't move at all, but their eyes are glued to the jar.>
Lita: <quietly> Yes. Yes, I think that will do nicely.
Pharmacy Dude: Do you guys like have a prescription or something?
Lita: Um...
EM: <Grabs the Pharmacy Dude by the collar> Just give us our damn herbal supplements, ok???
Lita: <digging through her purse> Actually, we do have a prescription. Dr. SkiBum wrote us two. Because there's two of us! *giggle*
Pharmacy Dude: *squeak*
Lita: Evil Mike, be a dear and loosen your grip on our friend here, won't you? I can't understand what he's saying. Oh! Here's the prescription!
EM: Oh, fine. <he lets go of the Pharmacy Dude>
Pharmacy Dude: Can I see that prescription? <he takes it from Lita> Ok. Yes. It appears to be in order. That'll be--
Lita: We don't want to give you our money.
Pharmacy Dude: Oh. I see.
Lita: But we'll let you have one of our pills if you give us the jar anyway!
Pharmacy Dude: We only take money here! I don't want one of your pills!
EM: Sure you do!
Lita: Everybody does. They're neat. Check it out. <Lita grabs the jar off the counter, opens it up, and pulls one of the pills out.> Here. Try.
Pharmacy Dude: Um... That's okay--ack!
<Lita has jumped over the counter and is prying the Pharmacy Dude's mouth open. When she finally succeeds, she throws one of the herbal supplements down his throat and clamps his mouth shut.>
Lita: Swallow! Swallow! <She holds his mouth closed until he does> There. See? It's neat!
Pharmacy Dude: *giggle* *giggle* *giggle*
<Lita and Evil Mike each take an herbal supplement also, and there's much giggling all around.>
Pharmacy Dude: *giggle* Man. These things are awesome...
Lita: So we can take these herbal supplements? *giggle*
Pharmacy Dude: Yeah. Go ahead. *giggle* And if you ever need more, just come back here. *giggle* I'll hook you up!
Lita & EM: Yaaaaay!!! *giggle*
Pharmacy Dude: <looking at Lita> Soooo... Do you wanna make out?
Lita: I sure do! <She jumps on Evil Mike>
Pharmacy Dude: Oh.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Yellow light
#2838
Al Roker: So.. about the fish...
Date: 05/14/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
is it....um...a war protest?
STG: I'm here today to inform the world about a terrible menace.
Al Roker (Away from the microphone) Shhh...don't talk about Katie that way.
STG: I speak, of the individuals collectivly known as GROPE.
Al Roker: Heh, that's great. Anyway, here's what the weather's like in your neck of th...(STG grabs the mike)
STG: People of America! GROPE must be apprehended!
wurwolf: (Watching at home) So, GROPE must be GROPEd...heh heh. Get back to Matt!!!!
STG: If I can't convince you.....My little friend will!
Al Roker: Oh great...another one of those radio shock jock stunts. Security!
STG: C'mon! Do that hypmo thing you said you could do!
Security guy: Okay, fishboy...let's go!
STG: But GROPE is bad! I'm telling the truth! You have to believe me! (STG is hauled away)
Al Roker: Back to you Matt!
wurwolf: Finally!
(Meanwhile....)
PM: Hey, that STG gave me a good idea. Rick, strap a fish on your body and go harass Good Morning America!
Rick: Boss, I think it'd be better if we hypnotized everyone to go after GROPE.
PM: *sigh* fine. We'll do it your way! Nobody listens to the boss. Oh no, it's always Rick this and stop putting Linky in danger that.....So, "boss" where are we going to find mass hypnotic equipment. Huh? Answer me that, smart guy!
Rick: Boss, you're a criminal mastermind. You already have hypnotic equipment.
PM: Oh......well.../a sticks his tongue out at Rick
Mickey T. Gardener
BBoard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
This reply brought to you by Xtreme Cole Slaw! It's XTREEEEEEME!!
Yellow Light, maybe kind of an orange ish....
#2839
<The front doors open>
Date: 05/17/2003
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
Security: And stay out!!!
<We see STG fly out the door, propelled by the //boot that has been applied with some force to his hinder. He rolls head over heels out into the middle of the street. He picks himself up and dusts himself off as the doors slam shut behind him. He jumps out of the street just in time to not get hit by an SUV.>
STG: Wow, Salmon, that sure sucked. What do we do now?
Salmon: ...
STG: Salmon? Answer me! Why aren't you talking?
EM: Duuuuuuuuuuude! Fishboy! *chuckle*
STG: Oh. That's why.
Lita: Fishboy! That was totally awesome the way you just totally flew out there like that! And when you almost got creamed by that one dude? *giggle* Can you do that again?
STG: No! And don't call me Fishboy! I'm Salmon Man!
EM: You have a boot print on your ass!
STG: I do not!
<Evil Mike and Lita both giggle and poin while STG runs around in circles trying to look at his own behind.>
Lita: So, Fishboy, did you ever manage to get us that booze we asked for?
STG: What? No! Screw you guys!
EM: Fine, whatever. *chuckle*
<Evil Mike looks at Lita. Lita opens up the knapsack she's been carrying and pulls out a bottle of Old Kentucky Shark. She hands it to Evil Mike and he drinks some.>
EM: Thanks, Babe.
Lita: *giggle* No problem!
STG: Wait... Did you guys have that thing of Old Kentucky Shark all this time?
Lita: Uh, yeah. *smile*
STG: WHAT???
Lita: Hee! Is that a problem?
STG: YES!! I almost got arrested to get you guys some Old Kentucky Shark and you had some all this time!!
EM: And you didn't get us any at all even though we asked you to, so I say we're even.
Lita: Tru dat. <She takes the bottle from EM and drinks>
STG: No! NO! In fact, I think you two are-- AHH!!! <Lita put an arm around his shoulder. STG finds this disconcerting since usually Lita makes an effort not to touch STG unless it's to punch him or kick him or shove him or... you get the idea.>
Lita: Fishboy, *giggle* my friend, *snort* do you know what it's fun to have?
STG: <looking at Lita's hand on his shoulder. He swallows.> Uh... Yeah... I think I know what you're getting at... *wink*
Lita: You're absolutely right! Tee hee! It's fun to have money!
STG: Money? Oh. Right. That too... I guess.
<EM puts his arm around STG's other shoulder>
STG: GAH!!1!
EM: How would you like to help us to have fun, (har har!) by raising money?
STG: Um... <He looks for a way to run but has Lita on one shoulder and EM on the other, and they each have a surprisingly good grip on him.> Oh... well... sure?
Lita: Shouldn't your fish be in water or something?
STG: What? Er.... No?
Lita: *giggle* So anyway, here's what we're gonna do...
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Red Light
#2840
Well, I'd love to participate, but...
Date: 05/17/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
*******************
EVERYTHING IS YELLOW AND RED LIGHTED!!! AAAAAAAARGH!
Tork: We didn't ask you to participate.
STG: Yeah, um... Oh well, the more you keep me out, the more likely there will be less continuity errors...
Lita: Exactly!
STG: Yeah, okay... I guess.
PM: Don't be so down, I have a really important job for you.
STG: You do? What?
PM: (Poins to a spot on the ceiling) I want you to keep an eye on that water damage up there. If it gets any worse, I gotta call a repair man.
STG: I'm on it! (Clentches his fists as he stares at the spot) I'm gonna stare the hell out of the spot!
ServoTheGreat
Obviously out of continuity.
#2841
Relax, STG.
Date: 05/18/2003
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
<Lita, Evil Mike, and STG are all standing in the lobby of a bank. Lita and Evil Mike are giving STG a pep talk.>
EM: It'll be totally easy, Fishboy!
STG: Salmon Man.
EM: It's the easiest thing in the world! Don't worry about it!
STG: You're asking me to rob a bank for you. Isn't that wrong?
Lita: The money's all insured!
STG: That's not the poin. And won't I get arrested?
EM: Heh! They won't recognize you, of course!
<Lita pulls a pair of pantyhose out of her knapsack>
Lita: Just put these over your head--
STG: Eww! I'm not putting your old dirty pantyhose on my--
Lita: Oh, relax! They're not used, they're brand new! <She puts it over his head>
STG: Gah! Control... top! Can't... breathe!
Lita: Quit whining. You're no fun when you whine.
STG: Shouldn't I... have... some kind... *gasp!* ...of weapon?
EM: You have a fish. What more do you need? *smile*
Lita: That reminds me. <she cuts one of the legs off the hose and puts it over the salmon's head.> There. Now you're completely disguised! *giggle* Now get to it!
<STG grumbles as he heads over to a teller's window. Lita and Evil Mike look on.>
Teller: How may I help you?
STG: Um... can I have some money?
Teller: Have you filled out a withdrawal slip?
STG: I don't have an account here. I just want some money.
Teller: No.
STG: Please?
Teller: No.
STG: Don't make me beg.
Teller: No.
STG: Look... This wasn't my idea... See those people back there? <he poins at Lita and Evil Mike who smile and wave> It was them. They put me up to it.
Teller: Now don't blame your problems on those nice people! You need to take responsibility for your own actions! <She hits the alarm>
EM: Doh! Cheese it, Lita! They called the cops!
<Evil Mike and Lita run out of the bank, again leaving STG to take the heat. Spidey has been waiting nearby and they climb in and speed away.>
Lita: *pout* This sucks, Evil Mike! How are we gonna have fun if we didn't even manage to steal anything?
EM: No, Lita! I managed to steal something!
Lita: You did?
EM: Yeah! <He holds up a ball poin pen with a little chain hanging off the end>
Lita: Oh wow, Evil Mike! You're so cool!
<Smooching ensues>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Green Light
Next up: Straight from the comics...
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